It’s Okay to Stop Breastfeeding

“Breast is best”

“You’re breastfeeding right”?

“As long as your baby is getting breastmilk in some capacity, it’s fine”

Sound familiar? The pressure on women to breastfeed in today’s society is absolutely INSANE. This intense societal pressure almost trumps the actual scientific evidence that breast really is best. I particularly love this article by Emily Oster, an economist who is the evidence-based queen when it comes to all things pregnancy and parenthood. While I have so much so much respect for those who do breastfeed, I also have an immense amount of respect for those who choose that a healthy baby and a healthy mom are the priorities. This includes mom’s mental health, and if that requires a cessation of breastfeeding, then I’ll say it for those who need to hear it: It’s okay to stop breastfeeding when YOU think it’s okay to stop breastfeeding.

My entire life, I have been force fed the “breast is best” (or any variety of that statement) sermon.

At the start of my pregnancy, my plan was to exclusively breastfeed for a year. I froze colostrum before I even gave birth, thinking it would be a helpful immunity boost if my baby ever got sick. I bought the breast pumps, the flanges, the nipple creams and the heat / ice packs for my boobs. My breastfeeding cart was ready and fully equipped with milk-boosting lactation cookies and reusable water bottles for hydration. I was damn prepared and damn proud of myself.

But life had other plans.

Like so many other mamas out there, my breastfeeding journey was a struggle from day one.

Though my milk came in just fine, breastfeeding was toe-curling painful. Even after chatting with lactation consultants, troubleshooting all possible causes for how difficult breastfeeding was (including ruling out a possible tongue tie), I would cry very real tears at every.single. nursing session. Despite my best efforts, we soon had to start supplementing with formula due to inadequate weight gain. Shortly after this supplementation began, it was discovered that my baby wasn’t getting nearly enough to eat. I found myself tethered to a breast pump at almost all hours of the day, obsessing about how much milk I was producing, how many ounces my baby was getting, and realizing that my milk supply was never going to keep up with the demands of my baby.

A few weeks of doing this exercise left me feeling wildly defeated. I was sick of being attached to a pump that only squeezed out 2 oz of breast milk every 2-3 hours (and yes, I did purchase a portable pump as well). I was sick of spending my free time researching “milk boosting supplements” only to have to give my baby the formula that society all but told me was ~*~poison~*~. I was sick of my baby being colicky all the time and my breastmilk potentially being a contributing factor. I was sick of not being able to actually care for my baby because I was busy pumping milk and cleaning bottles. I was sick of feeling like I was hurting instead of helping my baby. I was sick of cracked, bleeding nipples and the need to pop over the counter pain killers far more often than I was comfortable with. I could feel my postpartum anxiety and depression getting stronger and impacting my daily life more and more each day.

So I stopped. But the sad part is that I feel like I had to list all the reasons why I chose to do so.

Yes, the mom guilt was real. The “breast is best” continued to live on in my head. I felt like I had failed at my first monumental mom task – feeding my baby with my body. But for me (and so many others), what I was doing was not sustainable for myself, my husband, or my baby.

In short, I stopped before I was “ready”. Before society told me it was okay to or before I “should” have. (*You can read more about my journey to stop breastfeeding here on the blog).

And if you’re in the same boat, please know it is okay to stop breastfeeding. Statistics show you are not alone.

So to the mom shamers out there I will say this: Breast is NOT always best.

• Breast is not best if it means your baby is not fed
• Breast is not best if your mental health is deteriorating and therefore impacting how you show up for your child.

 YOU ARE THE BEST MOM FOR YOUR BABY and you have to do what works for you.

Let’s all stop the mom shaming and be a little kinder to ourselves and each other as we all navigate the chaos that is motherhood.