Signs of a Colic Baby

We’ve all heard parents say “my baby was/is so colicky” in reference to their *spirited* child. But what exactly is colic, and more importantly, how do you survive it?

Let me start by saying that I had ideas about what having a newborn would look like, and I was under NO impression that it would be easy. I had never even heard the term “colic baby”. I did, however, hope that on my best day, I could put my baby down for a nap and go shower, work out, or take a minute to take a deep breath. It’s okay, you can take a minute to laugh at me for that thought. No hard feelings.

None of my aforementioned ideas included my newborn crying for 6-12 hours straight in what could only be described as inconsolable, high-pitched, blood curdling, death metal screams. As the days went on, I realized if I ever put down my now lovingly nicknamed “barnacle baby”, she would scream bloody murder until she was picked back up. It took me a few weeks to realize that my baby was probably “just colicky” as so many well-meaning (and infuriating) pediatricians often say.

So what exactly is colic? What are the signs of a colic baby?

A lot of people throw around the term ‘colicky’ and joke about how difficult their colic baby was/is. But it’s pretty standard for babies to cry for a good portion of each day. When you have a colicky baby though, the crying feels abnormally intense and takes up hours (and hours and hours) of your day. This description by John Hopkins Medicine explains it pretty well. They state that colic

Lasts for more than 3 hours a day, happens more than 3 days a week, and occurs for more than 3 weeks

If you’re anything like me, you probably read that description and thought “Okay cool. But what do I do about it”? Because all you care about is the fact that your child won’t stop screaming. Right?

Here’s what I personally tried

• Changing my diet to see if my milk was causing some stomach upset for baby
• Supplementing (and eventually switching to) formula (as a side note, it took 3 formula changes before we eventually settled on a hypoallergenic formula)
• Trying a probiotic
• Tummy massages including bicycle legs, the I Love You technique, and tummy time
• Warm baths during episodes of particularly intense screaming
• Warm tummy packs
• Wearing t-shirts to sleep and then covering my baby’s bassinet sheets with my clothing so she would feel like I never left and be more comfortable in her bassinet
• Learning how to efficiently burp baby after feedings (pro tip – there are so many ways you can burp a baby that I was not aware of until I couldn’t get my baby to burp)
• Getting an evaluation for reflux and eventually obtaining a prescription for Pepcid
• Purchasing all sorts of devices that would keep my motion junkie baby content (*insert post about products I used here)
• Putting my baby in a carrier and taking her everywhere with me
• LONG walks outside (in a carrier only mind you, because the stroller initiated many screams) until the motion eventually rocked her to sleep

You’re probably wondering if any of the above worked. Honestly, after we ruled out any potential medical causes with our pediatrician (which you should 10000% do), some of my strategies seemed to temporarily relieve the screaming. Some seemed to make her angrier (looking at you, bicycle legs). And some things helped one day and didn’t help the next. But I kept trying and trying, and as the days went on, more things than not seemed to soothe her. My now 3 month old LOVES bath time, but if you had put her in a bath a few months ago, you would probably be covered in blood, sweat, and tears.

If you can relate to these feelings, please know you are absolutely NOT alone. The internet is FULL of parents who seem to be losing their minds, one screaming baby at a time. From my numerous readings and googling of “how to survive a colicky baby”, it seemed my feelings were very common amongst other parents whose children were “spirited”.

How do you fix it? And how long does it take to go away?

I can’t even tell you how many times I took to Google to search things like “when do colicky babies get easier” and “when does colic improve”. Knowing there probably wouldn’t be any answers to my questions, I continued to search out of desperation.

I DESPISED when people just said “it gets better”. It does, but that is also the most infuriating phrase to hear. The truth is, though most sources say colic symptoms ease by 3-4 months, it is unfortunately impossible to expedite the process, and your baby might improve far quicker than someone else’s. Unfortunately, we didn’t get the “I woke up one day and all was amazing” experience that many with colicky babies seem to have. The improvement was slow and gradual.

For my baby (and again, remember that everyone’s baby is different), I noticed a considerable improvement by 9-10 weeks of age. The screams turned into social smiles, eye contact, the sudden ability to put her down without fuss. By 12 weeks she was an entirely different baby, and at the time of my writing this at 14 weeks, she smiles and coos far more than she cries.

So how do you survive the colic phase?

Having a colicky baby made me feel almost “robbed” of so much of the “joy” of motherhood. My baby was inconsolably crying for majority of the day, and despite my best efforts could not be soothed. I felt like I was failing as a mom and as a wife. I felt like I had made a huge mistake in having a baby, despite the fact that our baby was very much wanted and planned. The emotions that having a colic baby can bring up in the immediate postpartum period can include shame, guilt, anger, and depression (just to name a few). You can read more about one mom’s journey through postpartum depression here. You can also check out some products that made my experience having a colic baby SO much easier elsewhere on the blog!

As mentioned in this post, Postpartum Support International has a great support group specifically for parents with colic or “high needs” babies. As other women and men told their stories, I immediately felt the weight lift off my shoulders just knowing that others had gone through the same. If you have a Facebook account, this group has some great motivational posts and is a nice way to connect with other moms going through the same thing. I also really enjoyed the Peanut app, as a simple search for “colic” connected me with lots of support groups and many other moms who were going through the same thing. As always, online forums like Babycenter and Reddit were invaluable in making me feel less alone. I just googled “colic baby babycenter” or “colic baby reddit” and read through SO many validating responses during my baby’s 2 / 3 / 4am feeds. I also started attending therapy sessions, which were extremely helpful.

My best advice to you is to take it one day at a time. It’s okay if you don’t believe “it will get better”. I didn’t either. If some days you need to put your baby down in a safe location for you to catch your breath, do it. Please know that you are not alone, you got this, and you are the best parent for your colic baby.