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If you’re actively googling “trying to conceive tips” and have ended up here, I have two things to say. First of all: Welcome! And second of all: I’ve been there, I see you, and I know how stressful it can be. That’s why I’ve created a list of trying to conceive tips for you here.
I want to acknowledge that every single person’s trying to conceive (or “TTC”) journey will be extremely different, and recognize that it can be an extremely sensitive, highly personal subject. You are NEVER required to answer questions like…
“So, when are you going to have a baby?”
“So when are you having another?”
“Do you think you’ll start trying soon?”
Because quite frankly it is literally no one’s business. Not even your closest family. I honestly feel like these are some of the most invasive, inappropriate questions that couples get asked far too often. You truly never know what people are going through, so please know that your TTC journey is about YOU and no one else. Back off people!
The goal in offering these trying to conceive tips is just to share with you what helped me personally (and offer support) during what can be a very stressful time.
My TTC journey
On March 17th, 2020, I met my now-husband – just as the world was shutting down. I distinctly remember our first date involving sitting on the beach talking for hours because the whole world – including bars and restaurants – had shut down due to COVID-19. Since we are both from loud, crazy families (I’m Egyptian and he is Italian,) we both knew we wanted kids when we met the right person, and we both didn’t feel the need to wait until life handed us the “perfect” circumstances. Here’s my first tip for you: There might never be a “perfect” time to have a baby. But if it’s something you really want, you figure it out.
By January of 2021, we were married, and shortly thereafter started talking about our “kid timeline.” Here’s another tip for you: Don’t be like me. Try to loosen the reigns on your beloved “timeline.” I know this is hard, because as women all we’ve ever been told is how our fertility declines with age. But do do your best to put the least amount of pressure on yourself as possible.
As someone who spent years on the pill and later the Mirena IUD, the idea of getting pregnant on purpose was kind of exciting. But by April of 2022, I was pregnant … and straight up terrified. All I had ever heard pregnancy, labor, and motherhood were horror stories. If I’m being honest, the excitement was also met with lots of anxiety about what the future would bring. The postpartum period is a story for a later time, but I found myself surprised that the pre-pregnancy part was also kind of … stressful?
Part of the stress might’ve come from the fact that I am a chronic planner, type A personality, and an over-preparer. Trying to conceive was no different. Here’s what I learned along the way.
Educate yourself
If you don’t have already have an OB-GYN, now is a great time to establish care with a provider that you like, trust, and feel comfortable asking questions. If you feel like your provider is not the one for you, you’re probably right. Get your routine / annual screenings (yes, you do need a pap smear eventually, ladies.) Discuss your past medical history, any birth control you are coming off of prior to your TTC journey, and ask them any questions you have about the process of getting pregnant. Your healthcare professionals know you intimately (especially your OB-GYN, amiright?) They are an incredible resource and will teach you so much if only you ask!
In starting my TTC journey, I also did a lot of what I like to call “independent learning” (because it sounds better than saying I’m a nerd and I like to read.) I scoured the internet for the best, evidence-based books to educate myself on what to expect. I kept hearing about Taking Charge of Your Fertility: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health by Toni Weschler. Trust me when I say it is embarassing how little I knew about my own body as a female (and a nurse.) With over 5,000 5 star reviews, it’s easy to see why this book is so popular. The back cover of Toni’s book asks
Are you unhappy with your current method of birth control? Or demoralized by your quest to have a baby? Do you experience confusing signs and symptoms at various times in your cycle? This invaluable resource provides the answers to your questions while giving you amazing insights into your body.
If you answered yes to all the above (like I did,) a great place to start on your TTC journey is educating yourself on what your body is actually doing, how to optimize your chances of getting pregnant, and why you might not be getting pregnant despite allll the trying. I would recommend this book 1000% times over, even to those who are not actively TTC and just want to get off of hormonal birth control once and for all! Knowledge is power, and having a good handle on your own body is one of the best trying to conceive tips I can give you.
Get the right tools
Ever heard the quote “There’s an app for that?” If you haven’t, I am here to tell you that it’s 100% true. I tried SO many apps to start tracking my cycle, but at the end of the day the top two apps I would recommend during your TTC journey are Fertility Friend (“ff'”) and Ovia.
I won’t lie, Fertility Friend is not at all a “pretty” app. It was created in the 1980s – and it looks like there have been no updates made to the app since. But I can tell you that it is hands down the most accurate of all the apps I’ve tried, and I trust it with my life! Ovia is a bit more user-friendly and also provides you with articles about TTC, which is kind of helpful. The two apps basically do the same thing, but I found the charts / graphs on Fertility Friend very helpful, and the dates on Ovia seemed a little off.
After getting my IUD out, I used these two apps for a few months to figure out what my body was doing and identify any trends. I wholeheartedly think that knowing when in my cycle to try to conceive was a game-changer for us. Knowledge is power! (PS: Both apps are free, though FF has a pro option that I tried briefly. I don’t know that it’s necessary but it’s just more data for you if you want it.)
Another tool I invested in was ovulation sticks. After years of being on the hormonal birth control pill, I genuinely had no idea when I ovulated, how long my cycles were, and if/when I was going to have a period. I wanted to give my body a few months off of any kind of birth control to get back to normal and figure out what was happening. This 50 pack of ovulation sticks from easy@home are amazing. You can even download the (free) accompanying Premom app that allows you to scan each stick and graph out when you are most likely ovulating in a visual, easy to read format. I’ve tried other ovulation sticks like these from Pregmate and definitely did not like them as much. They would sometimes show negative when the easy@home sticks were positive, so I mostly used them on days when I was fairly sure I wasn’t ovulating.
After reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility, I also got myself a good basal body thermometer. I tracked it alllll on the FF app and gave my body a few months of hormone-free life to figure out what it was doing after years of pumping myself full of hormones. I learned a ton about my body and felt great just rolling over and taking my temperature every day instead of stressing about if I might get pregnant or not.
If you’re not a huge fan of reading, there are some other great apps that have great articles and support communities. What to Expect, The Bump, and BabyCenter are great places to start. You can also check out some great articles to start with later in this post!
Get support
There are so many online forums that offer support during your TTC journey. The What to Expect Community discussion boards are absolutely amazing. I also often went on specific Reddit pages like Trying For A Baby, First Time TTC, and Baby Bumps, and there are plenty of others that will pop up with a quick google search. There are also tons of Facebook groups for women who are trying to conceive that you can find with a quick search on Facebook. I found great comfort in knowing that I was never alone. Another trying to conceive tip? You are never going through it alone.
It’s also a great idea to talk to close friends and family *that you trust* about the process if you wish to, or even a good therapist.
*PSA about these forums: It is very easy to get sucked in to some of the negativity and excessive worrying on them, so do your best to find the positive side of these support forums. If you don’t feel like they are helping your mental health, don’t look at them! Your mental health is so important during this time.
Don’t forget yourself in the process
When you get serious about trying to conceive, it can feel like it takes over your whole life. Trust me when I say I know that it can be all you think about and all you worry about until you get pregnant (which then brings with it a whole other bunch of worries.) You NEED to be taking care of you. Try your best to go to work, get your exercise, hang out with your friends and loved ones. By all means, eat healthy, fuel your body, and take your prenatal vitamins, but don’t forget to enjoy your life during this process.
It is true that your life changes once you get pregnant and have your baby, so take the time to practice your self care now. One of my biggest trying to conceive tips: You will need to practice the art of maintaining self care later on when life gets chaotic, so start now!
Other tips from the professionals
Here are some other good reads that you might find helpful
- How to get pregnant by Mayo Clinic
- How to Get Pregnant – Best Tips to Help You Conceive by The American Pregnancy Association
- Trying to get pregnant by NHS
- Fertility and conception tips: What to do before getting pregnant by Today’s Parent
- Trying to conceive by Flo Health
While making a baby can be fun, it can also be stressful when it is something you really want or if you have a timeline for yourself. Do your best to relax and enjoy the process, take deep breaths along the way, and know that you always have options. We put so much pressure on ourselves with timelines and dates, and sometimes things just don’t go according to plan. The moment I started telling myself “it is what it is” and that it will happen if it’s meant to be, it happened!
I hope you enjoyed this list of tips for when you are trying to conceive. As always, feel free to comment if you can think of any more!
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